In the Middle

Hello everyone! It’s been a long time since I did a post like this because I rarely have free time anymore. But since we have no classes today and I surprisingly finished all the things I need to do, I finally have the time to legit blog about what’s been going on in my life lately. Yay! So basically, I’m already in the middle of my fifth semester in college, aka third year college, aka HELL. It’s a known fact in my course that third year is probably the most difficult yet, next to thesis I guess.

Before the semester started, I was on a two month break, basically doing nothing. I was just hanging out with my cousins, watching movies, playing video games, and what not. And in a blink of an eye, those precious ten weeks of just sleeping and eating and laughing were about to end! Noooo! I was not ready to go back to school. No. I didn’t hate school, but I just didn’t like it that much anymore. Whenever I’m in class, I just always feel tired and anxious and all I ever wished was for the day to end so that I can go back home in my safe place, my comfort zone. I didn’t want to experience that again because it’s not fun. It was sad and scary and frustrating.

I was so afraid to go back to school but there’s really not much that I can do. I still want to get a good education and to have that, I have to go through the “sacrifices.” It’s not always fun, and it definitely isn’t easy, but it has to be worth it, right? So I enrolled and my first day of my third year in college started. It was only my first day and I was already freaking late for class! What a way to start the semester right? Every first meeting with my new professors made me so nervous, and to think that I have SIX majors for this sem plus one Engineering subject. Deadz na dis. Despite that, I tried my best to look on the bright side. At least I have the same classes as my friends! I mean, I know a lot of people in Arki and they probably know me too, pero mabibilang lang talaga sa kamay yung mga feel ko ka-close ko na. So yeah, somehow I was still happy because at least if there’s ever any group activity, my friends and I will automatically be groupmates! Well, wrong. Naubusan ako ng groupmates for not just one, but two of my subjects. Here I am, trying to be positive and all, and then I’m suddenly alone again? No one likes being the last one picked. It sucks. Very, very much.

However, life doesn’t stop for anyone. It goes on, and no matter how crappy you feel, you have to keep going, even if all you want to do is find comfort in your safe place. But just when you think that your life is falling apart, it surprises you and it lets you realize that your life isn’t really falling apart. Sometimes, not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck, and that’s what happened to me. Because I didn’t become groupmates with my close friends, I got to become groupmates with new people whom I have never talked to before. I got to make new friends, while keeping the old ones, of course. I had the chance to talk and laugh and mingle with people outside of my small circle of friends, and it feels so nice. I get to go to classes where I can actually talk to my seatmates and share jokes with them. Before I knew it, I was enjoying the company of the people around me and it was the genuine kind. The kind wherein you’re just extremely happy that you have actual people to talk to and to listen to you. Ang saya-saya lang.

And yes, my third year of college still stresses me out because of all the school work, but I’m so thankful that somehow, I’m not as anxious as I was before the semester started because now, I know that there are people who are there for me and that it doesn’t hurt to make more friends. I learned that you should give everyone a chance and to have a little faith in people, a little faith in life, and a little faith in yourself.

It’s just so crazy to think how three months ago, I was crying so much because I was scared to face all the stress and anxiety that my third year of college will bring me. And yet here I am, already in the middle of the semester, and I’m not crying and I’m not as scared anymore. I’m smiling and I’m happy! I have real friends and I enjoy being with them! I’m motivated and I’m driven and I’m hopeful that even better days will come.

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Whatever you’re facing right now, know that you will always make it through. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but life can really change for the better, sometimes even in a blink of an eye. You just have to keep going and never lose hope in the future. Feel everything, let it hurt, but don’t let it stop you. Don’t ever lose faith in life and don’t ever lose faith in yourself.

Whatever pain you’re feeling right now cannot compare to the joy that is coming, darling! Kaya mo yan! I believe in you. ❤

 

xo, moira ❤

 

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2 thoughts on “In the Middle

  1. I really needed to read this!! School has just been so hard for me this quarter and I just got done with an accounting test that I had no idea what half of the stuff was all about,, sometimes I just want to give up but reading your post made it a little better,,, there’s always tomorrow, thank you so much dear 💕

    Liked by 1 person

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