How to Make a Friendship Last Forever

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Six years ago (June 2010), we were freshies who were excited to explore the new world of high school. We were all classmates, and though we knew each other’s names and faces, we were never really that close. I even remember that my first impressions of them were “feeler,” “feeler,” and “too corny.” HAHAHA. And what’s funny is that they also didn’t like me too back then! During freshman year, we were frenemies. Yes, we were friends, but we also secretly hated each other due to petty reasons like “Inaagaw niya yung friends ko,” or “Bakit lagi na lang siya yung kasama ninyo,” or “Di ko lang talaga siya ka-vibes.” Grabe, sobrang high school ng mga problema!

Fast forward to our last months during our senior year, we became inseparable. We loved spending time with each other, whether we were doing group works together, eating lunch together, or just simply making endless kwentos at the corridors or the school parking lot. We knew that our high school journey was about to end, so we wanted to make the most out of it before we go our different ways. It’s so crazy to think how a person that you didn’t initially like suddenly becomes the best friend that you can’t live without.

Fast forward to today, we are now all juniors in different colleges who have only seen each other less than ten times last year. I hate how we don’t get to spend as much time together as before, but what I love is how when we do see each other, it’s like nothing changed. They’re still my best friends who I can have deep talks with in the middle of the night, who I can laugh with until my stomach hurts, and most importantly, who I can completely be myself with. Our friendship is a kind of friendship that is hard to find, but luckily, six years ago, I found them and they found me.

So I thought it would be nice to share with you what you can do to make your friendship stronger and maybe even last forever (or at least try!). So here goes:

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  1. The first thing to note is that you cannot force friendships. You won’t find true friendship by acting like Regina George and choosing Cady Heron to be part of your clique just because she’s pretty. Most of the time, the best friendships are those that you never even see coming. Just like in our group, we all didn’t like each other at first but somehow, after spending years of being together, you just become inseparable and when you’re not together, you miss each other every single day. So if you’re trying to find friends that will be with you until the end, don’t force it. Just let it naturally evolve first.

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2. It can take years before you can truly become “best friends.” Did you know that it takes 3 years before you can completely know a person? So don’t rush things just because you don’t have a so-called “best friend” or “barkada” yet. Again, just let things happen naturally.

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3. It takes a lot of effort. If you have already found your group of friends, good for you! However, know that you won’t always be together 24/7. So if you want to keep the friendship, you have to put in a lot of effort. Ask them if they’re free to hang out on the weekend, chat them up online about what’s going on in their life nowadays, or call them just to let them know that you miss them terribly. Just like in any other relationship, communication is always the key.

BONUS TIP: REPLY! If a friend starts a conversation, magreply ka gurl! Baka mamaya effort nga nang effort si friend, pero ikaw naman yung hindi nag-eeffort back. Kahit sino, nasasaktan sa seenzone or sa 24 hours bago ka magreply sa text or chat. Huwag makampante na kahit hindi mo siya kausapin ay walang magbabago sa inyo, kasi may hangganan lahat ng tao. (GRABE DEEP!) So if you want someone in your life, let them know that you want them in your life. Don’t ever be the reason why your friendship is doomed to fail.

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4. It takes a lot of patience and understanding too. Now that we’re in different colleges, it’s definitely harder to find time to hang out in person. We don’t have the same schedules and we also don’t have the same circle of college friends. So if you ask them to hang out with you and they’re not available, you have to understand them. Just because they say no doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want to be with you. Trust me, they really miss you but just like you, they also have to meet their own school deadlines and they need to make time for their loved ones too. Huwag magtampo agad. Pero kung nagtampo ka nga, tell them so that it won’t blow up to become a bigger issue. The less unspoken issues inside your head, the happier you’ll be!

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5. Get a “Burn Book.” Remember how in Mean Girls they have this notebook that only the four of them are allowed to write in and see? Well, get one for your barkada too! But DON’T write mean things about other people. Instead, write down all the good memories you had with each other. Put pictures and polaroids of the unforgettable times you had together. Paste all the tickets of movies you have seen together. And to make it more fun, list down all the things that you want to do together aka a “Best Friend Bucketlist!” So that one day when you all have your own jobs and your own families, you will still be able to look back on all the memorable moments you and your best friends shared throughout the years.

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6. Let go and let each other grow. There came a point in my life wherein I realized that we can’t be the same four girls in high school anymore. Back then, I would spend all the time in school with them, and whenever I got home, I would chat with them online as if we never really left each other’s side. And when I would go to bed, I’d sleep with a happy heart because I had a good day with them, and I know that I would spend the next day with them too. Being in the same high school made it so easy for us to be with each other.

But now, I only see them during birthdays or summer or the holidays. I don’t talk to them every single day anymore, and I don’t always know how they’re doing, which sucks, but it’s all a part of growing up. Remember this: the best thing about true friendship is that you can grow separately, without ever growing apart. 

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And last but not the least, always be grateful that you found your best friends.

So to Ilka, Kim, and Carrie, I am forever thankful to the Lord that I found you. I am so lucky to meet 3, out of the 7 billion people in this world, who I can call my best friends. Or should I say TF’s? 😛 I miss you, always, and I love you, four-ever! 😉

xo, moira ❤

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