How to Make a Friendship Last Forever

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Six years ago (June 2010), we were freshies who were excited to explore the new world of high school. We were all classmates, and though we knew each other’s names and faces, we were never really that close. I even remember that my first impressions of them were “feeler,” “feeler,” and “too corny.” HAHAHA. And what’s funny is that they also didn’t like me too back then! During freshman year, we were frenemies. Yes, we were friends, but we also secretly hated each other due to petty reasons like “Inaagaw niya yung friends ko,” or “Bakit lagi na lang siya yung kasama ninyo,” or “Di ko lang talaga siya ka-vibes.” Grabe, sobrang high school ng mga problema!

Fast forward to our last months during our senior year, we became inseparable. We loved spending time with each other, whether we were doing group works together, eating lunch together, or just simply making endless kwentos at the corridors or the school parking lot. We knew that our high school journey was about to end, so we wanted to make the most out of it before we go our different ways. It’s so crazy to think how a person that you didn’t initially like suddenly becomes the best friend that you can’t live without.

Fast forward to today, we are now all juniors in different colleges who have only seen each other less than ten times last year. I hate how we don’t get to spend as much time together as before, but what I love is how when we do see each other, it’s like nothing changed. They’re still my best friends who I can have deep talks with in the middle of the night, who I can laugh with until my stomach hurts, and most importantly, who I can completely be myself with. Our friendship is a kind of friendship that is hard to find, but luckily, six years ago, I found them and they found me.

So I thought it would be nice to share with you what you can do to make your friendship stronger and maybe even last forever (or at least try!). So here goes:

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  1. The first thing to note is that you cannot force friendships. You won’t find true friendship by acting like Regina George and choosing Cady Heron to be part of your clique just because she’s pretty. Most of the time, the best friendships are those that you never even see coming. Just like in our group, we all didn’t like each other at first but somehow, after spending years of being together, you just become inseparable and when you’re not together, you miss each other every single day. So if you’re trying to find friends that will be with you until the end, don’t force it. Just let it naturally evolve first.

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2. It can take years before you can truly become “best friends.” Did you know that it takes 3 years before you can completely know a person? So don’t rush things just because you don’t have a so-called “best friend” or “barkada” yet. Again, just let things happen naturally.

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3. It takes a lot of effort. If you have already found your group of friends, good for you! However, know that you won’t always be together 24/7. So if you want to keep the friendship, you have to put in a lot of effort. Ask them if they’re free to hang out on the weekend, chat them up online about what’s going on in their life nowadays, or call them just to let them know that you miss them terribly. Just like in any other relationship, communication is always the key.

BONUS TIP: REPLY! If a friend starts a conversation, magreply ka gurl! Baka mamaya effort nga nang effort si friend, pero ikaw naman yung hindi nag-eeffort back. Kahit sino, nasasaktan sa seenzone or sa 24 hours bago ka magreply sa text or chat. Huwag makampante na kahit hindi mo siya kausapin ay walang magbabago sa inyo, kasi may hangganan lahat ng tao. (GRABE DEEP!) So if you want someone in your life, let them know that you want them in your life. Don’t ever be the reason why your friendship is doomed to fail.

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4. It takes a lot of patience and understanding too. Now that we’re in different colleges, it’s definitely harder to find time to hang out in person. We don’t have the same schedules and we also don’t have the same circle of college friends. So if you ask them to hang out with you and they’re not available, you have to understand them. Just because they say no doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want to be with you. Trust me, they really miss you but just like you, they also have to meet their own school deadlines and they need to make time for their loved ones too. Huwag magtampo agad. Pero kung nagtampo ka nga, tell them so that it won’t blow up to become a bigger issue. The less unspoken issues inside your head, the happier you’ll be!

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5. Get a “Burn Book.” Remember how in Mean Girls they have this notebook that only the four of them are allowed to write in and see? Well, get one for your barkada too! But DON’T write mean things about other people. Instead, write down all the good memories you had with each other. Put pictures and polaroids of the unforgettable times you had together. Paste all the tickets of movies you have seen together. And to make it more fun, list down all the things that you want to do together aka a “Best Friend Bucketlist!” So that one day when you all have your own jobs and your own families, you will still be able to look back on all the memorable moments you and your best friends shared throughout the years.

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6. Let go and let each other grow. There came a point in my life wherein I realized that we can’t be the same four girls in high school anymore. Back then, I would spend all the time in school with them, and whenever I got home, I would chat with them online as if we never really left each other’s side. And when I would go to bed, I’d sleep with a happy heart because I had a good day with them, and I know that I would spend the next day with them too. Being in the same high school made it so easy for us to be with each other.

But now, I only see them during birthdays or summer or the holidays. I don’t talk to them every single day anymore, and I don’t always know how they’re doing, which sucks, but it’s all a part of growing up. Remember this: the best thing about true friendship is that you can grow separately, without ever growing apart. 

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And last but not the least, always be grateful that you found your best friends.

So to Ilka, Kim, and Carrie, I am forever thankful to the Lord that I found you. I am so lucky to meet 3, out of the 7 billion people in this world, who I can call my best friends. Or should I say TF’s? 😛 I miss you, always, and I love you, four-ever! 😉

xo, moira ❤

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Here’s to Growing Up

Around this time last year, I was still a college freshman. I remember feeling so unmotivated to do anything school related because I just got back from semestral break. I just wanted to stay home and not do plates for I knew how tiresome they were going to be. A few weeks into the second semester, my high school best friends and I decided to visit the annual school fair of our high school. I was so excited to come because one, it would be a good break from all the stress in school and two, I would be seeing familiar faces and friends that I haven’t hanged out with in a while. As we got to the school fair, I felt so happy. I legitimately felt like I was in high school again, and everything just felt so familiar that it was like I was travelling back to the past and I didn’t want to come back to the present. But sadly, the fair only lasted for two days and it was suddenly back to college reality for me.

As I was about to sleep at night, I couldn’t help but think of how fun and amazing the weekend was. It was so perfect that I didn’t want it to end. It made me realize that I miss high school. I miss how it was so simple back then. I miss that everything was routine. I miss having a stable group of friends. I miss seeing my schoolmates. I miss everything about it so much that it made my cry a lot that night. I think that was the first time that I actually cried because I couldn’t keep all my emotions inside anymore, and I just wanted to let them all out of my system. (side note: I am not the type of person who is very much in touch with her feelings. So to cry because I was feeling sad is a big deal for me!)

From that point on, there wasn’t a single day in my life that I didn’t wish to go back to high school. College became too depressing and frustrating for me, and I couldn’t help but think that if it were high school, life would be a lot easier. I would have less worries and I would probably have a lot more self-confidence inside of me, compared to what I’m experiencing now. I missed my old life so much. But whether I liked it or not, life went on. I continued my life as a college student and to be honest, it hasn’t been a smooth and swift sailing ride. It was tough. It still is. And even if what I just really wanted was to go back in high school, I couldn’t. It was impossible. High school was and will never be in my life again.

Fast forward to today, I am already a college sophomore. Last weekend, it was time for the annual school fair of my high school again, and I was so excited to finally come back! However, as I got there, the place didn’t feel familiar to me anymore. I barely knew anyone and I felt out of place. I honestly felt so old and I didn’t feel like a high school student again. I just felt like a college student inside a high school campus. I wanted to leave because the place didn’t have that same “vibe” anymore.

I then realized that I am no longer the same person from last year anymore. I am not the same person who wanted nothing but to go back to high school. I am not the same person who wished to go back to the simpler days. I am not the same person anymore because in the span of that one year, I grew. 

I grew to know that high school was not for me anymore. That part of my life is over. And although I still miss it every day, I have come to accept the fact that I will never experience it again. I can’t let myself be boxed in in the world of high school when there is a larger world for me to conquer out there. And no, it won’t be easy. Like they say, life doesn’t get easier, but we just get better. Remember, life makes you better and lets you grow to be the best version of yourself and the person you were meant to be.

If you’re still in high school, I hope you treasure every moment so that when you graduate, you’ll have no regrets.

And if you’re still struggling to move on from your past life, just give it time. Give yourself a chance to grow. One day, you will just wake up and realize that you are not the same person anymore. You are already a better version of yourself.

Here’s to never growing up.

 

xo, moira ❤

A Monologue on Moving On

Back in high school, as weird as this may sound, I always loved when we had to give a declamation/speech in front of the class for our English subject. Actually, it was through that that I discovered I had a passion for acting. I loved how I could pretend to be another person through the scripted words that I spoke and the rehearsed gestures that I made. (note: this is NOT sarcastic) And fun fact, the very first declamation piece I did was about a teenage bride who was left at the altar, and because of that performance, I gained my first medal (Best in Declamation) in high school! Yay wala lang hahaha

But out of all the pieces I’ve performed in class, three stood out for me. The first was the one which I just talked about, the second was about a child who was always compared to her sister (which had to have some Greek terms because that was our lesson in class haha), and the third one is what I will be sharing with you today. Basically, we had to come up with a monologue as a response to one of the poems in our book. I decided to respond to a poem about a man who was trying to move on from his past lover. I can’t remember what the title of the poem was though, so sorry for that. 😦 Anyway, here’s my monologue:

What?! You broke up a month ago?? After all those years?? Oh my, I’m so sorry. But why have I been hearing things saying that ever since your breakup, you have done nothing but think of her? Listen, I know you think that she’s the one, but I don’t. And looking at you now, you’re just too in love with the memories that it’s making it hard for you to move on. You know a wise person once said that the tricky part of life is sometimes, we tend to hurt the people we love along the way. But the trickier part is sometimes, we need to hurt the people we love to start choosing the things that will be good for us. Because if that’s always been the case and you don’t think of yourself, who else will? Don’t spend too much time thinking about her to the point that you forget of thinking about yourself! You see, love is so short, and forgetting is so long. I know you will move on, maybe not today, not tomorrow, but I know you will, someday. And one day, you’re gonna find the right woman for you. So turn that frown upside down, okay? Okay.

Wow, there was a lot of quotable quotes in there LOL. I hope you liked my short and simple monologue! I know it’s not a super great one, but I was pretty proud of myself for writing something with a lot of hugot hahaha!

Now back to reality…

please wish me luck as the next two weeks will be hell! #tiwala

God bless us all! 🙂

 

xo, moira ❤