So, let’s talk about my course.
I am currently a sophomore at UP Diliman and I am taking up BS Architecture. I have always wanted to be in this course ever since I was a little girl. You see, growing up, I loved watching design shows on television like Clean House, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Carter Can, Mission Organization, The Amandas, and so many more! Whenever I watch them, I can’t help but think that that’s what I want to be when I grow up. I want to have my own TV show and get the chance to remodel homes, because I feel like if I can give people a brand new home, then I can give them a brand new start as well. And that is why I chose to study Architecture.
However, this course is definitely not easy! Before entering college, I wasn’t really aware of that. I knew it was going to be challenging, but I didn’t know that it was going to be this difficult. I SWEAR. I mean, this course isn’t just about drawing, but it’s about designing. You have to consider all the client’s needs, the building codes, appropriate room and furniture dimensions, and so many more that even I can’t get a good grasp of all that. Arki life also means having all-nighters to finish your plates and study for that freakin’ Physics exam. Trust me, it gets pretty overwhelming.
The worst thing is that I can’t help but compare myself to others. Whenever there’s a plate submission, I look around me and I see amazing drawings that have been rendered beautifully by my classmates. I see scale models that look so clean and effortless. I see the passion in my friends’ eyes as they work on these things. And then there’s me. I’m the one who worked on my plate the night before, and yet my drawings still end up messy and mediocre because I’m not that talented or skilled in that area. I’m the one who isn’t passionate about the things I do in my course. I’m the one who is not even sure if I still belong here.
Of course, there have been times that I thought of shifting out. I mean, I’m sure every single architecture student out there experiences this dilemma. But the thing is, I don’t really have another course in mind. The only one I can think of is Interior Design, but that’s already so closely related to Arki, so why would I even shift out right? So in the end, I decided to stay.
I kept (and keep on) questioning myself if this is the right choice. Because what if there’s something better out there for me? Somewhere where I’d be happier and less stressed! What if Architecture is not what I want anymore? I mean, I don’t really want to be an “architect.” I just specifically want to have my own design show someday! But what if I get stuck in this course and I would have to spend my whole life working in architectural firms, when in reality, that isn’t really what I want?
So I thought to myself, maybe I should just remember why I started studying Architecture in the first place. I mean, there’s a saying right? Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe the one reason why it will. And I suddenly remember about my dream of having my own TV show focusing on redesigning homes. However, the thought of it didn’t really excite me anymore because what are the chances that that dream would come true anyway. But suddenly, all of that negative thinking changed because of one Saturday.
I went inside my parents’ room and I found my mom watching a show called “Love It or List It.” It’s basically a show about remodeling homes, and I got so hooked on it! It felt like God was trying to send me a message saying “No, stay in your course. You have the potential to be a great designer someday. So never quit and I’ll take care of the rest.” Ever since that day, I always made it a point to allot some time into watching that show so that I’d be reminded and motivated to do well in my course. No, my dream is not mundane. The chances of achieving it are one in a million. But I will stay in my course because by doing just that, I am increasing the chances of getting to my dream, to where I want to be. I am not there yet, but I am one step closer.
It made me realize that I really did have to hold on to that one reason why it can work. I had to be reminded of why I started, and little signs like those are already enough for me to believe that I am capable of achieving anything. If the odds of living my dream of having my own design show is one in a million, then I would still take the shot because what if I do get that one chance in a million? It’s believing in that tiny possibility that makes the most impossible dreams come true.
I just have to trust that eventually, everything will fall into place in God’s perfect timing. Someday, I will look back on this moment of my life and be so glad that I didn’t give up. I don’t know for certain what will happen in the future, but right now, I am certain of my decision to stay in my course. I will finish what I started and I will continue to pray for the Lord’s guidance as I go on with my life.
Papanindigan at kakayanin ko ito.
xo, moira ❤
Little Miss Moira 